im drinking this country out of the recession.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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