I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
