K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
