I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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