Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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