guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Oh god it's open bar.
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