Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
