you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
