Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
