we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
no, he came in my armpit
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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