I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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