every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I love you. Go after that dick
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
