I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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