Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
