Whod you bang
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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