I think scott just propositioned me for sex
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm both gender and math confused
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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