I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
