He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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