This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize