but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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