he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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