I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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