my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
