epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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