I wannas sexs uuuuu
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
