Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize