Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
As shirtless as possible
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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