i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
