you guys were way drunker than both of me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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