i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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