I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
