dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
