I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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