So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
