can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
