yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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