You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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