just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
