no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
