This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize