I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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