sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
