there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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