How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
