The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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