My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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