He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
