I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
