i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
A+ Viking dick
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
