I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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