Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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