sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
