I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
