are you so shy because you have an std?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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