I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
