im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
