he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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