Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
