I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
