Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize